I knew after two weeks of dating Amanda that I wanted to marry her. Not the casual “she seems nice” kind of wanting, but the all-consuming, no-turning-back certainty that changes everything. To be fair, I had already known her for 4-5 years at that point, and she is a really good cook (a key selling point). I knew I loved her—and told her so—long before she knew and told me. While others might have tested the waters cautiously, I was ready to jump all in. And that decision changed my life.
I want to make a case for jumping all in, and then balance that in another article, making a case for incrementalism. Like entering a cold swimming pool, if we take little steps and slowly descend lower and lower, we are just tortuously prolonging our discomfort. But if we jump all in, yes, we get a blast of cold, but then we adjust, move on, and enjoy it.
There is a time for pushing all your chips into the center of the table, and a time to improve gradually. It’s a dichotomy. The problem is that if you are a wait-and-see guy like me, sometimes you wait too long. My theory is that after a period of discernment, it is best to fully commit and then work on improvements and pacing over time. Have a goal, and then work to make that goal happen.
Several people at our church used to do CrossFit at the same gym. We all know what those people are like (a joke I saw somewhere said “the only difference between CrossFit and a cult is that CrossFit costs more money”). Naturally, I was invited to drink the Kool-Aid, but I never did. I knew I was embarrassingly out of shape, and I didn’t want to do anything that made me look or feel pathetic. With an air of deep humility, I piously told them that I needed to lose some weight and build up my endurance before I joined. In the end, I was glad I dodged the CrossFit bullet as all of those people left the gym anyway.
Two and a half years ago, I had the opportunity to join a Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu gym. I made the same excuses then as I had before, but my friend who invited me said, in effect, to “shut up and saddle up.” So I did, and I’m still in a gi years later. I didn’t need to try it out, see how I felt, and then debate the pros and cons. I got smashed on the mats and still wished I had decided it was something I needed in my life decades previously.
Jumping all in is scary because it’s a high-risk, high-reward game. There are strong chances you will fail. Constantly. Repeatedly.
But that’s a good thing. If you fail, but keep going anyway, then you didn’t actually fail. You got better. Any cowboy will tell you that if you get bucked off a horse, you must get back on it right then. So don’t be afraid to be thrown off the horse, because then you have an opportunity to get back on and be a better man or woman than you were before.
It’s even biblical. Told in two of the Gospels, Jesus invites a man to follow him, but the man says he needs to wait to bury his father first. Jesus replies, “Let the dead bury their dead” (Matt 8:21-22; Luke 9:59-60). Following Jesus requires a radical, all-in commitment. There ain’t no pussyfooting around on the narrow road. However, once in, once we are abiding with the Lamb, then we can begin to grow and mature through the process of sanctification (incrementalism!).
Going all in on something takes courage, but it creates endurance. When making a knife, you don’t gradually heat the metal a centimeter at a time. You shove that thing into the forge until the whole piece is white hot. When you need to cool off the blade, you don’t let it sit around, thinking about how it wants to cool off. You plunge the blade into water or oil, which hardens it, making it strong and useful. It’s a violent and sudden process with effective results.
I’m glad I went all in with Christ. I’m glad I went all in with Amanda. I’m glad I went all in with jiu-jitsu. I’m glad I went all in with writing. Jumping in, even when the water is cold and over my head, has made me a better person.
Identify that one thing you’ve been circling—“I’ll get on a diet after the weekend,” “I’ll start working out when my schedule gets less crazy,” “We’ll have kids after I finish my degree,” “I’ll do jiu-jitsu/CrossFit/run club/etc. next month”—and make the decision to fully commit. Don’t make excuses. Just do it. Set a specific time within the next 24 hours to take that first meaningful action. No more waiting for perfect conditions.
“The kingdom of heaven has suffered violence, and the violent take it by force” (Matt 11:12 ESV). The water might be cold, but who cares? You may not have tomorrow, and you no longer have yesterday. You have now. Remember that one day you will die, so remember to live now.
Awake! Put on strength! 